


Why Stay?

by Alex_In_Their_Own_Wonderland



Series: Why Not? [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2020-07-20 10:48:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19990888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alex_In_Their_Own_Wonderland/pseuds/Alex_In_Their_Own_Wonderland
Summary: When you were younger, you were an agent of HYDRA. After you'd escaped you hoped you would leave that part of yourself behind you.However, recent events have lead you to wonder...Can people change that much?You were adopted by Tony Stark and chosen to become a member of the Avengers team... until half of them decided you were a HYDRA agent in disguise and you left....Coming home was an accident you almost regret, but you couldn't keep running forever.Fights, secrets, lies, and hearts to hearts. The question is, are they real? You've been having these... dreams. Reality distorts, and it feels like your really remembering things. You've been ignoring it, but the longer you stay in the tower, the more you look into it you begin to wonder...Should I stay?Or will I be more harm than good?____The second book in a possible series, Why Stay is bound to give you somethings you wish you'd seen in the first book, which was more like an intro to the story.I hope you enjoy :)





	1. Home

It had been eight months since you left the Avengers.

This is why you wondered why the _fuck_ they hadn't stopped looking for you.

Right now you were running. Running faster than you'd probably ever run in your life, which was pretty fucking fast.

Your lungs started to burn, but if you stopped running, the police car would either run you over and you're have to escape from inside a coffin, or they'd catch you and throw you in jail.

Why? Why was they wanted to throw you in jail? Because some stupid bitch decided to con you because you "killed her husband" or something a lifetime ago. She gave you a jacket from a store while it still had the tag on and then started screaming about how you stole it. Hahaha... you could've killed her right there.

Then again, you weren't that person anymore. The last thing the world needs is another villain.

Your problem right now was the fact that you still had the coat on, and if you tried to take it off, you'd slow down and get run over by something.

Like Vanelope from _Wreck-It Ralph_ , you were going to have to "glitch", which is what you decided to call it. (Katie used to name all your powers, and you figured that's probably what she'd call it.)

So, you focused on depicting Paris France, deciding that you'd probably be safe for a few seconds there, just to get you out of trouble.

After a few moments of this, you focused and jumped, landing on...carpet. Huh. That was weird. Your old room actually had carpet, didn't it? You had been thinking about the Avengers a moment ago.

You didn't--

Your eyes opened, revealing your old room, almost untouched, aside from the smashed dresser and completely trashed desk.

_What the hell happened here?_

You were about to leave again when the alarm sounded, and the door opened.

You gulped as you locked eyes with Pietro Maximoff, who was still as beautiful as ever. You'd missed him and Peter the most when it came to the team, and you'd wished you didn't have to leave them. (You stayed in touch though. After hacking someone else's Instagram account, you talked to them occasionally when you felt like chilling in a library for a couple of days.)

"Hey Pete," you joked, a nervous chuckle tumbling out of your throat.

"Y/n?" He asked, giving you an odd look. He chuckled, "You changed your hair." His accent was still thick, and he still smiled like a silly jock. You wondered if he'd really changed at all since you'd left. Had any of them?

Pietro looked at something behind you, "You weren't the one who broke the window then?" he asked.

Oh, that must've been where the alarm came from.

"Nah, not my style anymore." you joked, staring at Pietro for just a little too long. It was hard not to, though. He was a sight for sore eyes.

You noticed that Pietro's scruff seemed a little fuller, but he had the same look in his eyes, his build was the same. He still looked at you like you were a friend.

You heard a weird battle cry only a couple of moments before getting a shot of webs in your eyes.

"Peter!" You cried, laughing as you wiped at your face. You could still see, thankfully, but you knew that it'd be a little hard until the solution dissolved in a few hours.

"Y/n?!" He asked, his eyes going wide. He raced towards you with open arms, "Dude I was so worried!" he ran towards you fast, tackling you in a hug that you'd actually been needing for a while.

"I missed you too, Petey~!" You laughed, hugging him back to the best of your ability.

There you were, in a peaceful quiet with two of your favorite persons in the world, actually starting to feel happy.

"Y/n?" A very familiar voice asked.

Peter scrambled off you and helped you to your feet. You chuckled and dust your pants off, taking your time as you slowly met eyes with Tony, who looked like he was on the verge of tears.

"Tony?" you asked, legitimately concerned.

He was lingering in the doorway, looking at you as if the two of you had never met, and you were a stranger in his house. His hand was still loosely grasping the doorknob, but you could tell it was shaking a bit.

You hadn't been gone that long, had you?

A breath later and your adoptive father had his arms around you in an aggressive hug, similar to the way he'd hugged Peter after having a _really_ bad dream about Thanos.

"If you leave like that again I might just shoot you." he muttered, forcing himself back, "You hear me?" he asked, his hand firmly lingering on your shoulder.

You nodded, "Loud n clear Stark." you smile.

He nodded, quietly sniffing, "Good. Don't do that again." his hand moved from your shoulder and pointed at Peter, "No sex while I go tell everyone else she's here." Tony didn't look like he was joking, but you knew he was because of the way Peter's eyes popped out of his head.

"No-- I wasn't,, I didn't--" Peter stumbled and stammered, his face crimson as he tried to find his words.

You saw Tony's amused smile as he went through the door, and you turned to laugh at Peter.

"He's just messing with you, calm down" You laughed, your hand lightly covering your mouth.

Your stomach growled, and you looked down skeptically, wondering when the last time you'd eaten was. Oh, right, so about a week and a half.

"Hey, is there anything good to eat here? I'm starving" you jogged out of your room and down the stairs, rounding the corner to find a lot of people who probably didn't want to see you in the kitchen.

 _I've gotta eat though. No Avenger is gonna get in the way of that at this point_. You told yourself, trying not to think about the night you left. That was actually what you spent half of your time doing these days. You'd sit and try not to think about it.

So, you walked into the kitchen as if it were a normal day with you back, weaving through everyone to grab some chili, which was apparently what they were having for lunch. (You'd found that out after you'd taken a bite.)

You sat down between Dr. Strange and Wanda, who probably didn't hate you. You couldn't be sure though, because a lot could've happened in eight months.

"Y/n?" someone asked.

You looked up to see Steve giving you a weird look as you shoveled chili into your mouth like your life depended on it. (To be honest, it kinda did though. You were lucky enough to find water for a while when you were in Africa not too long ago, let alone food.)

You nodded, your mouth full of chili. All eyes were on you.

You swallowed, "That's me." you smiled, shoveling another spoonful of chili in your mouth.

Clint laughed, "Still as cocky as ever, huh?" he took a swig of coffee, which was hard through his smile.

"No, just hungry." You replied, your mouth full to back your point up.

You were getting both amused and peeved messages. Dr. Strange was sending you micro glares while Wanda was watching you eat as if you were a queen. Natasha looked like she could stan you, and Clint couldn't be happier to see you.

Steve just looked done with you all over again, but it was more of the exhausted type of done. It looked like the thought you made him tired.

That's why you decided to finish your food quickly so you could go find Tony. You needed to talk to him.

...

You were still hungry as you made your way over to the lab, which is where FRIDAY said he was, but you decided that two bowls of chili would be enough for you to survive for a while.

When you got there, the lab was... suspiciously quiet. You wondered if Tony had left or something.

"FRIDAY, did Tony leave?" you asked, projecting your voice a bit so she could hear you loud and clear.

"Nope, still in the lab." She replied.

"Okay so he's here somewhere..." you mumbled, slowly making your way to the back of the room.

It took a few moments, but you found him. Instead of working, like you'd thought he'd be, he was curled up in a ball on the floor, with Bruce trying to soothe and comfort him.

"Tony, it's okay," Bruce whispered, "She's not dead, right? That's what you've been worrying about... and now that she's back, you know for sure that she's alive." he said. He was trying so hard.

You couldn't help but feel out of place as you could barely hear Tony whimper about how awful it'd been, and how hard this parenting thing was.

Bruce chuckled, "I know, Tony. Trust me, we all know." He ran a hand through Tony's hair, "We're here for you, though. Unlike before, with the whole civil war thing." he sighed, sitting next to Tony, knowing full well he was going to be here for a while longer.

You held your breath.

"Maybe, you should have everyone talk about it." Bruce suggested, his fingers still softly stroking Tony's hair, "Talk everything out, and make sure everyone you can gets heard." Bruce smiled at his own ingenious, "That way, we can hear Y/n's side of this too, yeah?"

Tony gave a small nod, "Yeah," he agreed, his voice sounding more like it usually does, "That... that sounds like a good idea." he took a deep breath, "Should we give her some time though? So we don't scare her off?"

You almost felt bad for listening in to this conversation, which wasn't for you in the first place. You'd already stayed too long as it is, but you wanted to hear what Bruce had to say for you.

"Yeah, I'd give her a couple of days to settle back in. That sounds like a good idea." Bruce nervously smiled, like you were a crocodile he didn't want to upset.

Were you really that scary?

With a silent sigh, you turned, focusing on what was left of your room, before glitching your way there.

Boy, was this going to be a long week. 


	2. Micheal Strikes Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it! Feel free to comment your thoughts, feelings, etc. I Love reading them! :D  
> Happy reading

You woke up on Saturday morning, a headache forming as you tried to remember what you’d dreamed.

“Whatever,” you mumbled, getting up and stumbling around in the dark until you got into the dark hallway.

 _Jesus, what time is it?_ You wondered, looking around at how dark it was. You looked at your smartwatch (something Katie had left in your room for Christmas), sighing as it read 1:22 am because you knew there was no chance you would be able to go back to sleep now.

 _Okay…_ you took a deep breath, _I guess today is just going to be a lot longer than planned_.

And indeed it would.

Now, you didn’t really think the day was long…. Until Micheal called a “family meeting”, which really just meant y’all had to sit in a room and listen to him before discussing a topic he’d introduced. (The last topic you’d witnessed was furries and kinks because he wanted to see Steven die a little on the inside. (You all know he’s a kinky bastard at heart))

You sighed, wondering how long this one would take because you’d been getting ready to try and sleep again. However, you were intrigued to find he was holding a meeting in one of the kitchen rooms, which was just a room with a huge ass table that could fit the whole family. (So this would be the equivalent to a normal family’s kitchen table.)

You sighed and made your way up there, making sure to be the last person in the room so you could sit next to Micheal, letting Maverick take the right side, while you sat on his left.

“Okay, so I know it hasn’t been that long since Y/n’s been back,” Micheal gave a little eye roll, “Buut, I also don’t care.” he shrugged, holding a hand around his torso in a way you found particularly interesting.

“So, due to my inability to give a shit, and my abundant need to call family meetings, I decided to quell my raging curiosity,” Micheal smirked a little, clearing his throat and demolishing all visible joy as quickly as it came. He then proceeded to open his jacket, extract a familiar folder from under his shirt, and toss it far onto the table, where it flew open and spread its’ contents out for everyone to see.

“So,” Micheal looked at you, his contact lenses red because he was into that, “Care to tell me what this is?”

You had no doubt in your mind that he had already read it, and been furious about it. This told you he already knows everything in that folder by heart, and he was ready to both defend you, and rip the team a new one, which was something you actually found refreshing.

“It’s a file of the information I gathered to quell my own curiosity, actually.” You mused, sitting back and letting your feet sit up on the table. Your chair tipped a bit, but you didn’t mind it much. 

Clint was doing the same things, actually. You had a small leaning competition as the conversation continued.

“What were you curious about?” He asked, already knowing the answer.

You smirked, taking a break from you small competition as you sat upright again, “I thought you had powers, actually, and no one gave me the answers I needed to make a proper conclusion.” You shrugged, “So I looked into it myself and got kicked out of the _Teen Titans_.”

Steve glared at you, “Nobody kicked you out, Y/n. You left because you didn’t want to face the consequences of your actions.”

You chuckled, “Sorry, I didn’t know getting my jaw broken by your shield in a world I made just for you was an invitation to stay and continue to be an Avenger…” You looked up quizzically, “Come to think of it, accusing me of killing people behind your back because I’m an apparent rage monster _also_ didn’t seem like a part of the welcome wagon-- _wow, Steve_ , if you’re so good with etiquette and I’m so bad with it, you should probably teach me-- oh _wait_ , you did, didn’t you? After I’d just gotten here? I’m sorry I failed as a student. It’s just so--”

“Y/n, that’s enough.” Rhodey deadpanned, glaring at you from next to an already peeved Tony. Guess they didn’t get much sleep either. “We’re all happy to have you back, trust me.”

Clint laughed, “Wow, Rhodey, that’s _rich_!” he sat up, arms softly landing at the table as he looked at the Iron Patriot, “You really wanna go down that route? The whole: _yeah, we’re happy to see you again, even though we literally accused you of being a psycho killer last time we talked, but hey! It’s all good now, right?_ Cause Jesus _Christ_ dude!” Clint laughed, “She literally _ran around the fucking w o r l d so she could get a break from our fugly mugs._ So I say we give her one. There’s no need to drag this on, _Steve._ Little girls wouldn’t be leaving Christmas presents in her room if she was a horrible person.” Clint rolled his eyes, already done with the conversation that’d just started.

“Barton, we’re trying to--” Vision started

“Don’t give me that logical bullshit cause that’s not happening right now. _You_ , Vision, can logic your way into and out of this, but them? Yeah, no. They don’t have the goals you do, and it’s fucking time you realize how biased they are.”

“Okay, but my husband was literally the Winter Soldier.” Steve deadpanned.

Clint gave him the weirdest smile, “And he had a type of microsurgery done on him that was very painful and unsafe to get HYDRA out of his head.” his smile dropped, “We fucking been knowing about your _husband_ , Steve. The thing is, no one cares anymore because he took care of that problem as a consenting adult.”

“I don't need a surgery.” You gave the people at the table a weird look, wondering if the kids should’ve been invited to this conversation. You felt a small finger tap your lower shoulder. You flinched, but calmed down when you saw Katie.

She motioned for you to come closer, so you leaned down to her level.

“Can I sit in your lap?” She whispered, lifting her arms up so you could lift her.

You chuckled, “Of course, my smol bean.” you replied, gently grabbing her under her armpits and lifting her into your lap, where you’d crossed your legs so she’d be comfortable. You looked over to see Chloe itching at her arms. She’s getting anxious.

“Okay but guys,” Micheal’s voice somehow transpiring over everyone else’s with great intensity. “You’re failing to answer my question.” He looked down at you, as if knowing something you should know too. (Really you thought of it as only half of “sharing a knowing look”)

You just shake your head, nothing coming to mind for now. He also shook his head, disappointed in you for some reason.

Micheal turned to the rest of the adults, looking peeved as per usual.

“Why. Didn’t. You. Tell. Me?” He asked, changing the question to better their ability to answer.

Everyone was quiet. The less everyone spoke, the more upset you got with their inability to take responsibility for their forgivable mistakes. You understood the fact that it was a hard thing to do sometimes, but this was getting fucking ridiculous.

“Okay, I get that this is hard for you but honestly grow the fuck up.” you snapped, your eyes rolling as you moved Katie over a little bit. It’s not like you needed to be screaming in her ear-- she didn’t do anything wrong and was too cute for that anyway.

“Y/n there’s more to this than--” Stephen started, but the excuses were honestly too annoying to listen to again.

“That I obviously know about cause I’m a stupid teenager.” You angrily sighed, “So I’ve heard. However, I’ll also say that we can’t do shit about the _other things at hand_ if you’ve never bothered to-- I dunno-- _talk about them?_ ” You huffed, your knee bouncing as you try to maintain your composure. Katie is looking more anxious by the minute.

“Y/n, will you be okay?” Katie asked.

You gave her a sorrowful look. You were almost mad at Micheal for bringing her and Chloe into this.

“Yeah, I’ll be okay sweet pea,” you assure her, sounding sweeter than honey on top of Turkish delight.

Your gaze returned to the conversation at hand, which had actually gotten really heated within the couple of seconds you’d left for. Okay then.

“I don’t have to explain myself to an overgrown lab rat.” Stephen snapped, pointing at Pietro from his place at the table.

You stood up, Katie in your arms for only a moment before you quickly set her down. “Stephen, we don’t need to turn this into a fight.” You cautioned, your eyes starring the Master of The Mystic Arts with a flash of anger.

“She’s right, Stephen.” Tony was also standing, looking at Strange with quite the opposite look. You hadn’t seen Tony look that concerned for someone in a while.

The air was tense. Having so many emotions in one room was bound to create trouble, but the type of trouble was a mystery to everyone, causing a subtle fear that only stirred the pot more.

“Stephen, what kind of trouble are you talking about?” Steve jumped in, also standing.

You were surprised by his random aid to your side of the argument, but you decided that it was the least of your worries right now. Your hand gently squeezed Katie’s, momentarily reassuring her after hearing her softly whimper.

Stephen glared at Steve, as if wondering if he should answer him honestly, or tell him to shut the fuck up because he’s been nothing but unhelpful this entire time.

Well, you were screwed. 


	3. Words Both Build and Break, Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is a dickbag who I have a bias against and it shows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw warnings for this chapter: Steve uses trigger words, and y'all start to have a panic attack. Please tell me if you need anything specifically listed!  
> (I have a really hard time knowing what to list, so I'll never know unless someone tells me :/)

Tony wasn't prepared to parent when he adopted you. You knew that, he knew that, and it was obvious to everyone else. Thankfully, you were almost an adult anyway, and he had a lot of money to spare.

That didn't mean shit when came to Micheal, who he'd technically adopted through his engagement to Stephen, who was helping Tony learn how to parent. (Along with Pepper, who surprised Tony the most by continuing to be his wife even after he told her he loved Stephen as well, but now isn't the time for that story.)

Tony wasn't prepared to parent, and he definitely wasn't prepared for the next thing to come out of Steve's mouth.

"Младший братишка" _(Younger Brother)_

Your eyes went wide, and you stood up faster than you think you'd ever had.

"Shut the fuck up Steve that isn't fucking funny." You knew it probably wouldn't work. They didn't treat you like that because they knew it didn't work with Bucky, but you didn't like the flashbacks those words caused anyways.

"Короткая поездка" _(Short ride)_ His piercing gaze staring you down

"Steve, stop." Bucky mumbled.

Tears were coming to your eyes. Your breath was starting to go short. Memories started flashing through your head. It'd just started, but you were already getting ready. You wanted this to stop.

Your hand squeezes Katie's a little tighter, but you avoided hurting her at all cost.

"Steve, stop it." Rhodey stared him down, getting no response.

"Парализованный" ( _Paralysed)_ Steve deadpanned, louder than before.

"Steve, stop." Tony looked just as desperate as you'd felt with the first word Steve uttered.

Your hand squeezed Katie's hand harder, but you kept resisting the urge to accidentally crush her hand with everything you had. You had to force your eyes open. A headache started forming in your head and tears had formed in your eyes.

Multiple people were saying things now, but you could tell Steve wasn't fucking listening. He never listens until he gets his goddamn way, does he?

"Похотливые мужчины" _(Lustful men)_ Steve was louder again, so you could hear him above everyone else.

You let go of Katie's hand, covering your ears as you let out a small grunt. He wasn't going to fucking win. You're gonna make it through this. No more memory lane.

 _God_ did Steve need to shut the fuck up!

"Steve, that's enough!" Bucky exclaimed, sounding more angry and scared than anything. This was an order, not a suggestion.

"Беспорядок" _(Mess)_ Steve exclaimed. Now it kinda just sounded like he was trying to exorcise a demon.

"Rogers, _Stop!!_ " Tony yelled. Everyone was panicking and telling Steve to stop. They must've thought you were still a monster of vast destruction.

They were like school children trying to stop taunting. No one was doing anything.

You opened your eyes just long enough to see Pietro and Wanda staring at you with great concern, unable to move to your aid due to being frozen in fear. You wanted to tell them you were fine, that you'd be okay after a while. You weren't going to hurt anyone, after all.

That was all they cared about, anyway.

"в одиночестве" _(Alone)_ Steve glared at you, a possible conflict in his eyes.

"Say another word and I'll fucking kill you myself you arrogant cunt!" Micheal yelled, looking ready to tackle Steve.

Through everything, it made you a little happy to have a family like that again, but it wasn't something you had much time to focus on because--

"Виновный" _(Guilty )_

You sputtered. Tears fell. Breathing is impossible these days, huh?

Hearing that one was probably the hardest on you.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKING BASTARD--"

You crumpled to the floor, holding your chest as you choked on your own throat in a desperate attempt to breathe. Instead of breathing, your body lurched, your ears popping with each movement. Malissa probably thought you were having a seizure or something because she tried to turn you on to your side and lay you down. Old habits die hard.

You caught yourself mid-leg swing, and instead stiff-armed her out of the way, still unable to focus your eyes on anything. They won't shut, and the flashes of what used to be won't stop.

You just want all of this to stop.

_Please make it stop._

You heard a crash, and some yelling, and through it all, you see Katie, small Katie, in the middle of it all. She was panicking too. She didn't know what was happening to you, and all the grown-ups were fighting-- and it was probably getting physical because of Micheal's threat.

"Ma--Ma-vrick" you huffed out, trying to get inside Micheal's head.

You looked around the room until you saw him already staring at you. You looked over to the little curled-up ball that was Katie, and he immediately knew. She was out of the room within seconds.

You were still gasping and wheezing when someone picked you up, but you were losing your edge. The world was blurring and the pain in your head made it feel like you were about to explode.

It took a moment, but you eventually figured out it was Pietro.

"I should've gotten you out of there sooner, Y/n. That was horrible, I'm sorry."

You couldn't say anything. Or do anything. Thinking things was becoming harder too. You might as well have been sleeping with your eyes open at this point.

He didn't say anything else, nor did he do anything besides carrying out the task of laying you in your bed, and waiting for you to wake up. No jokes, no light kisses, none of his cliche bullshit.

After what felt like eons, you were set in your bed, which felt both horrible and awful. The textures made your skin crawl, but the plushness of the mattress had never felt better.

Despite your best efforts, you fell asleep a few minutes after your head hit the pillow.


	4. Another Night Song

Memories flashed in your head all around you, and you couldn't escape them due to the sleep you couldn't possibly deny anymore. You hated sleeping, and this was exactly why.

People need your help, there's a fight to end, and there's nothing you can do while you're suffering in your sleep.

Then, out of nowhere, you were at that beach again.

That fucking beach.

Your parents and younger brother suddenly appeared. You stared with watery eyes, wondering what you'd torture yourself with this time.

Y/n! Your mother's silky voice called in a sing-song tone, Its time for a picnic! We need to chat, the four of us.

The next thing you knew, you were sitting down on a checkered blanket, the colors of your dad's college team. You had a simple meal of sandwiches and cheese-it's in front of you, but you didnt mind. You weren't very hungry anyway.

Your brother sat across from you, looking worried, a look that was shared by your father. However, your mother was confident as always as she passed everyone a semi-full plate with a cheery smile.

Now, Y/n, we've heard about you getting into trouble in school. She didnt sound happy, but she seemed considerate, So, to keep you out of trouble, we were thinking of going to your aunts and homeschooling you. You'd get to learn things differently, make friends on your own, schedule your own ECs, and learn whatever languages we can find a basic course on. She proposed.

Your father gave her a concerned look, However, because she lives a bit farther than we do, it sounded like he was placing his words cautiously, as if you'd be upset about homeschooling at this point, we won't be able to come here as often as we usually do.

You smiled, wondering how you could've ever been so worked up over such a small thing. You'd had such a simple life once. Crazy, huh?

No, wait. That was wrong. You made the wrong choice.

You couldn't stop smiling, That's fine, dad. As long as Im with you guys, right?

No. No that was wrong. You can't make that choice again! They'll--

Im glad you think so sweet-pea! I'll admit we were a little worried about how you'd take the news. Dad smiled, his smile fading a little when he noticed the small glare you mom gave him.

Her smile immediately returned and she looked at your brother, Your brother has agreed and said hed like to go into home-schooling as long as he can take a course in computer programming. The little devil. she chuckled and pinched his cheek, to which he shrugged away with a laugh.

Mom! He exclaimed, rubbing his cheek on his shoulder, You know I hate that! He said he hated it, but it made him laugh every time, no matter the occasion.

No. Stop, please. I don't wanna do this again.

The world glitched around you a few times, blinking in and out as your brain switched gears. You were in a car, surrounded by family and nicely packed bags.

You don't want to relive this.

You notice your mother spot something on the horizon, and you quickly note the fear that swells in her eyes. You'd never seen your mother scared, let alone this scared.

She quickly turns around, her eyes meeting yours in an instant. Now your dads noticed it too.

Y/n get-- The car explodes and moves in ways you hadn't thought possible. All you hear is shattering glass, mortified screams, and metal morphing. The crumple zone is reduced to play-dough at this point. There are no survivors.

Except, there is one. You.

Your brother's corpse, which was all he could be described as at that point, cushioned you-- he always forgot to wear his seatbelt. Then, when you started going through the back of your seat, the weighted bedding your mother was too stubborn to leave behind kept you in place.

You were the only one to survive at the end of it all, and you'd always wished you hadn't.

The world flashed and glitched around you, the memory's blurring together until you couldn't tell if what you were seeing was part of a half-baked dream or part of a horrible memory. Horrors too awful to describe had you screaming at yourself, just hoping you'd just fucking wake up already.

These weren't even really memories anymore, just flashes of what once was as you hopelessly sat there, unable to do anything. Waiting to wake up, and longing for the moment you'd get to see Katie again.


	5. Mxmtoon Will Only Ever Produce Moods

When you woke up, you were greeted by Pietro. Katie sat in his lap, staring at you with curious eyes. He was asleep, practically drooling on the top of her head. You wondered how long he'd been sitting there for.

The question quickly left your mind when you felt the bed move.

"Y/n!" Katie whisper shouted, "You're awake!" She beamed, being careful to keep her distance so she didn't spook you. You were thankful for that.

 _I sure am._ You smiled, "How long have I been sleeping for?" You asked.

Katie's face scrunched up, looking up to count the hours in her head, "About nine hours." she finally decided.

Your eyebrows shot up. _Nine hours?!_ You couldn't sleep that much if you'd been hit with an elephant tranquilizer!

"Y/n, are you okay?" Katie asked, "Why was everyone yelling at Steve?"

You were about to ask her what she was talking about when it hit you-- the reason you'd been sleeping in the first place. With the thought of Steve, your blood boiled because holy hell did you wanna kick his ass.

You looked to Katie, calming yourself down because she did not need your shit on her chest.

You took a moment to find your answer to her question, "You know how everyone went over words that made them feel bad, and we had a bit of a sharing circle when we first moved into the tower?" Katie nodded, allowing you to continue.

"Well, everyone was getting really upset because Steve was saying a whole bunch of my trigger words, which is why I was hurting so bad. The words don't trigger me the way they used to, but I can still feel it and my mind kinda goes crazy. Like Chole when she sees her family, or Micheal when someone calls Maverick a girl." You shrugged, "Sometimes those things are accidents, though. You shouldn't get mad when its an accident, but because Steve did it on purpose, everyone was mad at him."

"Even Bucky?" Katie asked, looking nervous.

You nodded, "Bucky understands my triggers, which is why he was so mad at Steve. Don't worry, though. I'm sure things will go back to normal as soon as Steve apologizes."

\---

"I'm not apologizing, Y/n." Steve deadpanned.

Katie's eyes went wide as she stood by your side. She'd wanted to see Steve apologize, even after you'd told her it probably wouldn't make her feel better.

"What?!" Katie practically shrieked, "How come?"

"KitKat, I was proving a point. Y/n isn't stable enough to be here, and she needs to be somewhere else until she can learn how to control her emotions." Steve knelt down, trying to pet her hair and soothe her, but she smacked his hand away.

"You said her trigger words on purpose! That's why she got so upset!" Katie frowned, "And if you can't see that, then the ice must've frozen your heart too!" She yelled, grabbing at your hand and pulling you away.

You shared a shocked look with Steve, this being the one thing you could agree on in a long time.

"Katie, where did that come from?" You'd asked once out of Steve's sight.

Katie wore the angriest frown you'd ever seen. Her eyes could kill three winter soldiers had she looked at them.

"Only _bullies_ say peoples trigger words on purpose." she frowned. You knew that frown.

You stopped, kneeling down and turning Katie to face you. "Katelyn, look at me." You deadpanned, looking her dead in the eye, "Steve is nothing like Robert. He would never, EVER hurt you. Do you hear me?" Katie nodded. "Good, cause Steve can be a real asshole, but I want you to know that you don't have to be mean because you're scared of him. He's just a big softie and he's trying to keep me from you because he thinks I'm bad." You chuckled. Yeah, Steve was protective like that. 

Katie frowned, "But you're _not_ bad! Steves just being a meanie. You're the sweetest person I've ever met! You take care of everyone, even when you don't have to, and you're the best at secret pancake fights!" She exclaimed.

You teared up a little. Katie'd always been so sweet, but this? It was almost too much. After everything you'd done. Steve was right, wasn't he? You didn't deserve the love you'd gotten from your adopted family.

"I wasn't always nice, though." You sniffed, "I used to be worse than Robert, or Chloe's aunt." You shrugged, hopeless. "It wasn't my fault, but it did happen," Your gaze fell to a small scar on your thumb, which you'd often ignore, "and I can't go back and change the past."

"No, but you can move past it." Someone said from behind.

You turned around to see none other than Pietro, standing there.

You sarcastically chuckled, gesturing around you, "Apparently I can0t, though. Everyone else is too hung up about it for me to move on."

He shrugged, "Sounds like a them problem."

Katie's brows furrowed and she nodded confidently, "Yeah, that sounds like a them problem, Y/n!"

You sighed, thinking for a second. They shouldn't be the ones cheering you up about this, huh? Your adoptive parents should be the ones helping you through this, shouldn't they?

They should've been there for everyone while you were gone, helping Micheal through his powers so he could control them--

"Yeah, but I have another problem that needs fixed." You mumbled bitterly, thus beginning the second family meeting that day.

So, there you were, sitting with Pietro and Katie quietly as everyone filed into the room, confused. Micheal especially, who had found the last family meeting completely useless to him.

"So, you might be wondering why you're here." You announced once the room was filled.

"Yeah, care to tell us?" Micheal snapped, quickly receiving a glare from Maverick.

"Of course." you smiled sweetly, "We're here to talk about how the Avengers parent the kids they chose to adopt." You glared at the so-called adults sitting at the table.

"I agree, cause you're all doing a bad job." Steve spoke up, "And the only person I'd argue having an excuse is Tony because he's the only one who's trying to figure parenting out."

Bucky looked a little hurt, because raising kids was hard, to say the least, and he was definitely trying. However, Steve was making it a bit difficult to get much done.

"Okay, Barnes has an excuse too, because Steve is keeping him from his true parent potential, but other than that you're all failing."

Bucky almost smiled at that. Almost. The phrase still felt a little harsh, though.

With that, there were pokes towards Stephen, but he shot them all down.

Sam hadn't really checked up on Malissa since everything started, Maverick was actually pretty okay. Clint wasn't open about his parenting methods, so Stephen had automatically assumed he wasn't parenting, but Maverick said Clint was secretly amazing at it.

No one knew how Scarllet was, and Bruce looked like he was going to die when it was mentioned. Whether it was from embarrassment or shame no one could tell.

"I really-- I didnt-" he'd stumbled.

Thor cut him off, mumbling words that seemed to comfort Bruce.

"We're not here because we're getting disowned as parents. We're here to acknowledge and improve." Strange assured everyone, "You just have to pay more attention. It was a mistake, learn from it." He offered Bruce a small smile, which Bruce didn't return. "As for you," Stephen turned to Steve, who gulped, "You and Y/n are going to talk out your issues. Am I heard?"

You nodded, "Heard and understood, sir." you quickly swallowed, realizing that was probably a bad slip.

Steve just nodded.

Stephen grinned with a mischievous look in his eyes, "Good. I'll visit in half an hour, good luck."

Your eyes went wide as you realized what he meant, but there was nothing you could do as you were swallowed into the mirror dimension.

"So this is the mirror dimension," Steve grumbled, mainly to himself. Since you were the only other person, though, there was no way you couldn't hear it.

"I'm almost surprised you haven't been here before."

"Stephen and I don't really get along."

"Like I said, almost." You chuckled.

Steve glared at you, "I'm sorry, but how is this in any way funny?"

"I'm sorry, why are you so touchy suddenly? Are you upset about me walking in on you and Bucky or something?" you asked, rolling your eyes. "Believe it or not, I'm actually kind of worried about you, even if you've been giving me so many reasons to hate you." You sighed, "You used to be a chill, nice, collected individual. Y'know, one of the good guys. The perfect paladin."

"Paladin?"

"I know you know what a paladin is, Steve."

You looked over to see America's poster boy actually smiling. You couldn't remember the last time you'd seen him smile around you.

"Well well well, a smile? You shouldn't have." You joked, an awkward laugh escaping your lips.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Steve sighed. You could hear the frustration in his voice. You forced your breathing to keep steady.

"What're you talking about? You tried to sound as serious as you could.

"I know you know what I'm talking about," Steve muttered softly. You could feel his edge dulling. He was getting tired of chasing after you.

Your façade fell, and you sighed. You did know what he was talking about, but you didn't want to talk about it.

"It's called a coping mechanism, Steve. Maybe you should try one sometime." You remarked softly. God, you were worse than Rocket, weren't you?

"For Christ's sake, Y/n, can you cut the bullshit with me?!" Steve turned to you, anger in his eyes.

You flinched, quickly lashing out with a deep frown. "If you want me to trust you, being an angry _shit_ isn't going to get you anywhere. I'm sitting here trying to figure out why you hate me so much, and hating on me while I'm trying to dissect what's going on isn't going to do shit for either of us!" You exclaimed.

Steve.exe.2 has stopped working. Restart?

>Yes.

"You think I hate you?" He asked.

You had to laugh at that. You couldn't even be sorry for it this time. "You're kidding me, right?"

Steve was not kidding, apparently.

"Y/n, I don't hate you. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do with you." he frowned when you nonverbally told him you didn't know what the fuck he was talking about.

"You lash out, you throw temper tantrums, and you're one of the strongest Avengers." he looked away, "You could probably beat all of us, due to your training. Normally, I wouldn't care, but with the kids here I..." he grew quiet.

You looked down at your feet, shifting them to the beat of Migraine by Twenty-One Pilots.

"I get what you mean, Steve, but I also think you should know better." You turned to glare at the man behind you, "Sure, my birth family is gonzo because I fucked up, but I got to have another family, Steve! I never thought I'd get that again, so I'm not gonna go and fuck it up now."

"But--"

"I'm not telling you to stop worrying, I'm asking you to give me some trust. Because I have not done one _single_ thing to harm those kids." Your voice quivered at the mere thought.

"And if you do?"

You grit your teeth, "If I intentionally hurt my family, I will take _all_ consequences with open arms." 

Steve seemed shocked, but he nodded, "Then I guess that's that."

You rolled your eyes so hard you half expected them to fall out. What did you have to do to get his dumb stamp of approval?!

"Yeah no, you still hate me, Steve. I can feel it in my sternum."

"Well, it's kind of hard not to. " He muttered bitterly.

You wanted to tell him he was wrong, but you knew yourself too well. "Yeah, I know." another sigh.

The fact that you keep surprising Steve is starting to surprise you.

"Wait-- what?"

You smiled, chuckling, "You think I don't know?! I'm one of the most annoying Avengers. I'm cocky and all that. Y'know?" Your smile faded, "There's no real way for me to fix it, either. It's a habit I've never had a choice in."

Steve seemed to understand that, but he said nothing. Instead, he opted to pick at his fingers.

"You know if you do that, you'll end up with a shit ton of hangnails." You commented.

Steve's lips quirked up, "Well that explains the band-aids Scarllet's always wearing." he glanced at you, "which you no doubt help her with."

Everything got quiet after that. Like, _really_ quiet. You could hear the gears in Steve's brain shifting, and you could hear all the things he wanted to say. You also knew he'd never be emotionally vulnerable enough to say them to you.

"I'm sorry, Y/n." he finally spoke up. You waited for him to add a _but_ , or something. Instead, he caught you both by surprise.

"I've been horrible... lately." he looked down at his shoes, his fingers holding something that was just out of your line of vision. "I've become more and more distant, and you've been picking up more and more of my slack and then you left because I-- " he took a deep breath, holding it, "I teamed up against you. I was so sure that you were pulling something and really I-- I was paranoid." Steve took the time to look at you, really look at you.

You felt a smile come to your lips as you heard him think, and you heard him realize that you really weren't a terrible person HYDRA had created. You looked like a college student. You looked tired, complex, and somehow kind.

"We're not that different, Steve." You shrugged, "Deep down, we both want what's best for the people we love, and were willing to do whatever it takes to protect them." you exhaled a small laugh, "I can't promise I'll forgive you, but I'm sure we can get along. I understand what you were trying to do, but I think next time if we just talked, and listened, we could avoid this and everything that happened before I left." You softly let your hand rest on his forearm, "It's okay."

Steve frowned, "But it's not, Y/n, that's the whole problem. Katie hates me now because I couldn't get myself together, and I hurt you, you probably hate me too, and--"

"Calm down there Scarllet!" You smiled, "Trust me, I know this is complicated, but it'll only stress you out if you let it bother you. I already have a simple solution." You winked, turning and standing. You offered a hand.

"I'll talk to Katie, and she'll hang out with me and Scott for a while until she's feeling better. Then you two will talk, and you'll try your best to explain why you were so mad and biased. I'll coach you a little before I leave you two alone, but trust me, this is far from the first time I've had to bring Katie and someone else back together."

Steve still seemed anxious, you placed your other hand on his shoulder with a soft look. "Hey, if I can forgive you, I'm sure Katie can. She's the sweetest little girl I've ever seen."

He seemed to relax at that, but you could still hear his head coming up with ridiculous scenarios. However, instead of trying to keep insisting it'd be okay, you decided to let it be.

Your soft smile grew into a smirk as the mirror dimension melted before you. It only took a few minutes before you were completely in the real world.

"Right on time," You nodded, turning around to see Stephen almost smiling at the two of you. Almost.

Stephen just shrugged, turning and sauntering through the door. "There's another family meeting after dinner. This one per Maverick's request."

Now, this surprised you. Maverick was one of those quiet types; someone who doesn't cause trouble. As you made your way downstairs, you tried to think of why he would call a meeting.

"What do you think it's about?" Steve asked.

You flinched, but you tried your best to hide it. "I dunno. Probl'y something to do with you and how things have been going since I got back." You shrugged, trying to keep your posture confident despite the sudden feeling of dread filling your gut.

What _was_ it about?


End file.
